5955 W Peoria Ave
Unit 6538, Glendale, AZ 85312
+1 623-930-1533
Customer Support
Mon-Fri: 8:00a - 5:00p
Other times, by appointment
Unit 6538, Glendale, AZ 85312
Customer Support
Other times, by appointment
I realize any discussion about death, in any form, can be difficult; perhaps even unwanted. However, it is a natural event that must be addressed and managed—especially when it comes to your technology.
While you or your loved ones may have a will, trust, or generalized plans for when you pass from this mortal world, most families do not know what to do with your “alter ego”—your digital life. That is what we are going to discuss in this article.
Like most of us, you likely have at least one social media account, but probably have 10, 20, or even dozens. The list can include the most popular platforms: Facebook, Instagram, X (Twitter), TikTok, and LinkedIn. For every one of these, there is a different way to handle the dearly departed’s accounts. Some terms you should become familiar with include memorialized, closure, private, and honorary mode.
The first thing to know about working with a loved one’s accounts is that you will need access to their phone, email, and passwords.
I know it is tempting to turn everything off immediately, but don’t. It can create more headaches and problems than you can ever imagine.
Next, someone should be maintaining a log, book, or at least scraps of paper with all the accounts, usernames, and passwords. If you do not have something with password information, I recommend you get a book now. (I recommend “The Secret Oracle” for offline password storage. You can get it here: The Secret Oracle).
A friend of mine’s husband passed away recently. Everything they owned was in his name. My friend didn’t realize until it was too late that she needed to use the two-factor authentication (2FA) on his mobile phone to get access to some accounts.
What should have only taken a few hours turned into a grueling nightmare that lasted weeks. This is especially true if you are waiting for an official Certificate of Death.
I know it should go without saying, but I will say it anyway: Do not make major life changes immediately following a death or significant event unless you have no alternatives.
Give yourself time to process and deal with the unknowns that are quickly on their way into your life. Some professionals suggest waiting up to a year.
You have permission: it is acceptable to close or disable the account. If you don’t want to, can’t, or are unable to manage the account, then by all means, close it. Don’t worry about historical information; the internet has it backed up somewhere.
Before you worry about social media apps, you often need to handle the main accounts that power the phone itself.
If you don’t already have access to your loved one’s account, Google has a process to help you. You can find their troubleshooter here: Google Account Help.
You can also use their Inactive Account Manager. From their website:
“We recognize that many people pass away without leaving clear instructions about how to manage their online accounts.
We can work with immediate family members and representatives to close the account of a deceased person where appropriate. In certain circumstances we may provide content from a deceased user’s account. In all of these cases, our primary responsibility is to keep people’s information secure, safe, and private. We cannot provide passwords or other login details. Any decision to satisfy a request about a deceased user will be made only after a careful review.”
Apple
The same goes for Apple. They also have a Legacy Contact option. You can learn more here: Apple Support.
From their website:
“Every day, people all over the world save important documents, memories, and more on their Apple devices and in iCloud. At Apple, we consider privacy to be a fundamental human right, and our users expect us to help keep their information private and secure at all times. In the unfortunate event of a customer’s death, Apple provides options for their loved ones to request access to or delete their Apple Account and the data stored with it.”
Since approximately 50% of the world’s population has a Facebook account, this is a great place to start.
As mentioned earlier, it is okay to delete the account. If that is the path you want to take, I recommend that you first download the account data: pictures, videos, texts, posts, etc. That way, you will have the memories when the account is gone.
To Delete (Permanent Solution):
Memorialization: Facebook also has an option that will lock the account, except for the account holder. It allows friends, family, and associates to continue to post sympathies, remembrances, and celebrations like birthdays and anniversaries. As the surviving family member, you may gain comfort from these kind acts and words.
The user of the account can pre-determine what to do with their account and actually assign a Legacy Contact. This is a really, really good idea.
Pre-setting Your Own Memorialization (Do this now!):
Now that we’ve walked through the “whats” and “hows,” it’s time to go the extra mile. I recommend that you and your loved one add your digital life requirements to your estate planning to ensure who has access and what to do with that access.
Most US states have a Revised Uniform Fiduciary Access to Digital Assets Act (RUFADAA), or some variation. A RUFADAA governs how fiduciaries (executors, trustees, agents) manage a deceased or incapacitated person’s digital assets. It permits authorized, legal access to emails, social media, and financial accounts, but requires explicit permission in estate documents or via provider online tools.
If you haven’t done so, I recommend you meet with an estate planning attorney. Don’t hesitate to get your affairs in order today. Otherwise, you’ll be scrambling to get them in order during the most difficult time of your life.